Monday, October 11, 2010

On Getting Bigger...

This weekend, the weather turned cooler and Hubs and I headed out for a afternoon walk. I reached deep into the closet and pulled out my North Face fleece jacket that I haven't worn in a long while.

I reached into the pockets and pulled out a Muni Football pass. Hubs and I got a laugh that the pass was from a 49ers/Eagles game that we went to at Candlestick Park when we lived in SF three years ago and here we were going for a walk on a Sunday when the Eagles were playing in SF...again.

The fleece has been out of the rotation, happily, for a long time now--its a size that I haven't worn since around that game. Just a week or two later three years ago, my sister and I created a family Biggest Loser contest that finally got me in gear to make myself a little bit healthier. I had been working at home for months, basically living a sedentary sorry existence. The friendly family competition motivated me to eat better and start hitting the gym. Christmas morning I won the competition (by a hair) and then I didn't look back and kept exercising and eating better. A year ago next weekend, I ran my first half marathon in SF with 2 best friends and was probably at my healthiest in training for that race and preparing. It was a long road between that Muni pass and that Marathon, but I wanted to make it a change for life and not just a little while.

Well here I am now, 29 weeks pregnant, and once again wearing that fleece that is from my bigger days. Pregnancy has certainly been an adventure in wardrobe for me--wanting to look put together without breaking the bank and trying to realize that huge portions of my closet just simply are not happening right now. Of COURSE I know I am growing for a wonderful reason, but lately I have found myself reaching for my so-called "fat" clothes, which has been a tough feeling for me. The doctor visits, which have increased to every 2 weeks, have me slightly anxiously stepping on the scale. My belly has me back in more dark colors, black Tshirts, stretchy blends, and it has me just a little bit nervous. I have no idea how my body will finish off this pregnancy, and I don't know how I'll do at getting back into shape. I am trying to keep myself moving over the next 12 weeks and eating (pretty) well, (sometimes you just want another taco), and I already hope to return to running lightly in the spring. I think I just worry how easy it is to slide back to those old habits and old cozy big fleeces.

I am sure I am not alone in this concern...I think it has just been small reminders over the past few weeks of how gaining weight affects me, and how regardless of the amazing reason I have this time, the small fear I have of becoming an unhealthy person again. I think I just feel even more determined to live a healthier life for Little One and set a good example for our little family. For now, I am trying to relish the big snuggly coziness of that familiar fleece jacket.

Has anyone else struggled with this? Also just a note--I don't want anyone to read this and worry that I am not eating well for my pregnancy--I am eating many small meals a day, paying attention to my hunger, and eating lots of healthy options, just feeling a little aware of my poundage today!


  1. You tend to taper off eating as you enter the 3rd trimester and baby squishes your stomach making it tough to eat.

    I have been closely managing my weight due to prior back issues - going to the gym and eating lots of fruits/veggies. Treats in moderation :) I think genetics plays a huge role in how you progress. Being tall has made life much easier for me in terms of how the belly is growing and moving around.

    Also - if you haven't found a pair of jeans. I am about to list a pair of Paige Laurel Canyon (size 33 - recommended to size up 1 or 2 sizes) on ebay but let me know if you are interested and will send details. BNWT just haven't gotten around to wear them.

  2. I don't have any experience in this area as I lead a childless existence...for now ;)

    But if you've done before you can do it again. And better I'm sure because you know what it takes and you know how good you feel.

    Congrats on the growing belly!

  3. First, congratulations on 29 weeks! This is such a beautiful and exciting time for your pregnancy. Its great that you are taking care of yourself and want to live well for your growing family!

    And oh my, yes, I had very similar issues with both of my pregnancies ( I have two daughters, 11 months and 5 years). I have had body image and weight issues my whole life -- always on the taller and broader side. But at some point in my late twenties, I committed myself to healthy lifestyle. I lost weight and felt great in clothes, although I was never smaller than a size 10/12. Today I am a solid 14 and working on getting back to a 12.

    Each of my pregnancies had their challenges. My first pregnancy, I began worrying about the weight gain and my expanding belly (and hips... those suckers spread out in preparation for birth), much like yourself. Most maternity clothes did not help matters -- the fabrics felt awful and I felt awful in them. Even though I did not want to spend much money on maternity clothing, I eventually found that having a few brightly colored tops to wear over stretchy pants, as well as a skirt and dress, helped matters considerably. I know it seems crazy to spend money on clothes you will only wear for a few months -- but the truth is, you will need these for a while after birth as well (it can take a few months for your body to start regain its shape afterwards -- this is normal and healthy ). The point is to find a few maternity pieces that you feel good about and turn to those on those days when old bad feelings are getting to you.

    The other key is to avoid gaining weight quickly throughout your pregnancy. Eating sensibly and keeping yourself moving are so important, even when you really don't feel like moving around much. I had more problems with this on the second time around -- there was a period early in my third trimester when I (over)ate and sat around a lot (have a sedentary desk job). The weight gain was so rapid that there was a real concern about gestational diabetes and such (although my glucose tests were normal range, thank goodness). But its been a lot harder getting my body back after number two and aside from being older, I think the additional weight gain has been a factor.

    Finally, another thing to try -- yoga for expecting mothers. Try to find a class, not just following books/DVDs on your own. This was invaluable through both of my pregnancies and helped me build awareness of the changes in my body and learn how to embrace them. It also helped me a lot in labor and recovery. Being around other expecting moms was also really helpful.

    Bottom line is that you need to enjoy yourself and your changing body... this is a very special time!!!

  4. In all honesty I did not worry about weight gain at all during my pregnancy. It was the most joyous time for me and I gained weight and waited for my mircle. No worries just pure happiness. After the baby we took daily stroller walks for an hour and I put her in her swing and I did a 30 min. at home aerobic tape. It takes 9 months to put on the weight. Give yourself a year to take it off! Be kind to yourself!

  5. In all honesty I did not worry about weight gain at all during my pregnancy. It was the most joyous time for me and I gained weight and waited for my mircle. No worries just pure happiness. After the baby we took daily stroller walks for an hour and I put her in her swing and I did a 30 min. at home aerobic tape. It takes 9 months to put on the weight. Give yourself a year to take it off! Be kind to yourself!

  6. First off, CONGRATS on the pregnancy!! Yay! :) I took a break from 'blog-land' for awhile and I'm just getting back into it again so I missed it earlier! =P

    Secondly, I am about 31 weeks pregnant (due 12/19) with my third child so I totally feel where you are coming from right now! But, as others have stated- as long as you're concious about eating (fairly) healthy and staying (fairly) active- you'll be fine! :) I nursed my other two babies until they were one year old and I really think the nursing helps burn off a TON of calories as well. I definitely plan on doing the same this time around.

    Lastly, just be happy & enjoy this time! You really will miss it later. Even though it feels long at times, it really does go soooo fast! Hang in there!! =D

  7. Anony@5:48 I just read your post and was going to post the EXACT same thing. I felt the same way you did when I was pregnant and did the same activities you did afterward. It is such a happy time and not a time to worry about weight unless the doctor mentions it of course!


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